No one was looking for me. And it would have been something, perhaps. To just stop. Still only temporary, but more than a second. Twenty-four hours or so, gone in the blink of an eye.
Even if I had, I still would've had to deal with him, of course. Nothing would have changed. And he'd do the same as he did back then; not listen. He said I was the only one who understood him.
I'm beginning to understand how he was capable of dismissing me with the same breath. I do not think he was ever really capable of care. Perhaps this is who he really was, all that time.
Or perhaps I'm just trying to give myself a little less credit for what's here now.
Apparently, being fatally poisoned makes one very popular.
Golly, what will I ever do with all these visitors? I believe I shall have to snap at one of them eventually, simply for the satisfaction of watching them hold their tongue for "the poor invalid".
By all accounts, it shouldn't be feasible. We're both human; humans cannot absorb another human's SOUL, is that not the way it is supposed to be? In such a case, what is it that made us the exception? Were we simply similar enough in our defining traits? Was it our Determination?
Why was I still there to begin with? That is another question I suppose we will never know. You did fall on my grave, which was very rude of you, by the by, but still.
For monsters, it has such a different meaning. To them, hope is everything and anything. The chance of a better tomorrow. A loved one. A sliver of a good person, that we could be. The chance to make something worthwhile.
I suppose you'd say that most humans are geared that way as well, but I am inclined to disagree.
I spoke with Maka, today. Your name never entered the conversation. Your name never enters any conversation.
I'm starting to think that perhaps, they're all under the impression I'll forget, given enough time. That you existed. Or perhaps they'd all like to forget, now that they've all done their very best to wish you well on your "vacation".
Sanji and Wade have been useful in their own manner.
The idiot chef has finally done as requested, and mother spent a good half an hour in the kitchen. I was, of course, still not alone. Ten minutes reprieve was as much as I was allowed before Wade also decided to drop in.
He apologized for not being aware of my current condition.
"Sucks, what happened to you." His words, not mine.
Sucks.
That's one way to put it.
Wade is rather unusual, in many ways. I would have enjoyed discussing your own impression of him; mine is currently to be decided. But he's good enough at keeping his word, so I suppose that's another person I can cross of my list when it comes to those you'd be partial to having taken care of.
I did, however, take advantage of the requests that could be made to attribute to the party itself. Some things I'll just put under the title of- "care" packaging. There are a few less necessary items that I'm looking forward to playing with.
Have you ever heard of the Salt and Pepper Diner, or is that a little beyond your time?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
That's gardening for you.
[MAY 5--extremely early morning]
What if I didn't text him.
cw: suicidal ideation
No. But in that moment, I suppose, the one thought that crossed my mind was
What would you do?
no subject
No one was looking for me. And it would have been something, perhaps. To just stop. Still only temporary, but more than a second. Twenty-four hours or so, gone in the blink of an eye.
Dealing with him makes me sick.
no subject
I'm beginning to understand how he was capable of dismissing me with the same breath. I do not think he was ever really capable of care. Perhaps this is who he really was, all that time.
Or perhaps I'm just trying to give myself a little less credit for what's here now.
no subject
But if not for you, I would already have had that. My 24 hours.
One day soon, I hope I get the chance to re-explore the concept. Next time, I won't call for help.
no subject
But I'm hardly as equipped for this as you are, so maybe returning soon would be a good concept to explore in itself, Partner.
[May 5- evening]
[May 6]
Golly, what will I ever do with all these visitors? I believe I shall have to snap at one of them eventually, simply for the satisfaction of watching them hold their tongue for "the poor invalid".
no subject
Were I in that poor health, surely I would have expired already.
no subject
Sitting still gives little option for anything but being lost in one's mind.
Needless to say, it's not a place I wish to be. Ever.
[May 7]
By all accounts, it shouldn't be feasible. We're both human; humans cannot absorb another human's SOUL, is that not the way it is supposed to be? In such a case, what is it that made us the exception? Were we simply similar enough in our defining traits? Was it our Determination?
Why was I still there to begin with? That is another question I suppose we will never know. You did fall on my grave, which was very rude of you, by the by, but still.
What was I still doing there?
What am I still doing here?
How did we manage this?
no subject
But if it had to be anyone, I am glad it was you.
[May 8]
For monsters, it has such a different meaning. To them, hope is everything and anything. The chance of a better tomorrow. A loved one. A sliver of a good person, that we could be. The chance to make something worthwhile.
I suppose you'd say that most humans are geared that way as well, but I am inclined to disagree.
no subject
I'm starting to think that perhaps, they're all under the impression I'll forget, given enough time. That you existed. Or perhaps they'd all like to forget, now that they've all done their very best to wish you well on your "vacation".
no subject
You have zero standards, partner. He's a grand testament, to that.
no subject
[May 9]
We had much to discuss.
Good night, Partner.
[May 10]
The idiot chef has finally done as requested, and mother spent a good half an hour in the kitchen. I was, of course, still not alone. Ten minutes reprieve was as much as I was allowed before Wade also decided to drop in.
He apologized for not being aware of my current condition.
Imagine that.
no subject
Sucks.
That's one way to put it.
Wade is rather unusual, in many ways. I would have enjoyed discussing your own impression of him; mine is currently to be decided. But he's good enough at keeping his word, so I suppose that's another person I can cross of my list when it comes to those you'd be partial to having taken care of.
no subject
Good night, Partner.
[May 11]
I'll take the false victories where I can. Congratulations, I didn't succumb to a flower! Achievement unlocked!
no subject
So I guess that means you're not invited. To quote a certain man in red- sucks.
no subject
Have you ever heard of the Salt and Pepper Diner, or is that a little beyond your time?
no subject
[May 12]
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[about an hour after the slew of texts f-ff]
[May 13]
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[May 14]
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[June 7- Not Sent]