For monsters, it has such a different meaning. To them, hope is everything and anything. The chance of a better tomorrow. A loved one. A sliver of a good person, that we could be. The chance to make something worthwhile.
I suppose you'd say that most humans are geared that way as well, but I am inclined to disagree.
I spoke with Maka, today. Your name never entered the conversation. Your name never enters any conversation.
I'm starting to think that perhaps, they're all under the impression I'll forget, given enough time. That you existed. Or perhaps they'd all like to forget, now that they've all done their very best to wish you well on your "vacation".
Sanji and Wade have been useful in their own manner.
The idiot chef has finally done as requested, and mother spent a good half an hour in the kitchen. I was, of course, still not alone. Ten minutes reprieve was as much as I was allowed before Wade also decided to drop in.
He apologized for not being aware of my current condition.
"Sucks, what happened to you." His words, not mine.
Sucks.
That's one way to put it.
Wade is rather unusual, in many ways. I would have enjoyed discussing your own impression of him; mine is currently to be decided. But he's good enough at keeping his word, so I suppose that's another person I can cross of my list when it comes to those you'd be partial to having taken care of.
I did, however, take advantage of the requests that could be made to attribute to the party itself. Some things I'll just put under the title of- "care" packaging. There are a few less necessary items that I'm looking forward to playing with.
Have you ever heard of the Salt and Pepper Diner, or is that a little beyond your time?
In what manner does anyone expect for you to return? Your body is gone, your SOUL dormant; unless someone decides to absorb it, and it's questionable, with the amount of time that's passed, if there'd be much of you left to even find consciousness.
Sans, making this all out to be a vacation. I suppose he was right to- today has been filled with such revelry. Games, music, fine foods and laughter. I believe there's a dance tonight, or perhaps tomorrow.
No one is unhappy that you're gone. They've all forgotten, given just a little time and something else to occupy them.
When I’m dead worn out, in a reverie, I often think that when it comes time to die, I want to breathe my last in a kitchen. Whether it’s cold and I’m all alone, or somebody’s there and it’s warm, I’ll stare death fearlessly in the eye. If it’s a kitchen, I’ll think, “How good.”
This was his mother? Dumbfounded, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Hair that rustled like silk to her shoulders; the deep sparkle of her long, narrow eyes; well formed lips, a nose with a high, straight edge-- the whole of her gave off a marvelous light that seemed to vibrate with life force. She didn’t look human. I had never seen anyone like her.
-----
She made me want to be with her again. There was a warm light, like her afterimage, softly glowing in my heart. That must be what they mean by “charm”. Like Helen Keller when she understood “water” for the first time, the word burst into reality for me, its living example before my eyes. It’s no exaggeration; the encounter was that overwhelming.
No matter what, I want to continue living with the awareness that I will die. Without that, I am not alive. This is what makes the life I have now possible.
Inching one’s way along a steep cliff in the dark; on reaching the highway, one breathes a sigh of relief. Just when one can’t take anymore, one sees the moonlight. Beauty that seems to infuse itself into the heart; I know about that.
Right now I can’t think. What do you mean in my life? How am I myself changing? How will my life be different from before? I don’t have a clue about any of that. I try to think about it, but with the kind of worthless thoughts I’m having in the state I’m in, I can’t decide anything. I’ve got to pull myself out of it soon. Now I’ve got you tangled up in it. The two of us may be in the epicenter of death, but I was hoping to spare you this misery. It could be like this for as long as we stay together.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But if it had to be anyone, I am glad it was you.
[May 8]
For monsters, it has such a different meaning. To them, hope is everything and anything. The chance of a better tomorrow. A loved one. A sliver of a good person, that we could be. The chance to make something worthwhile.
I suppose you'd say that most humans are geared that way as well, but I am inclined to disagree.
no subject
I'm starting to think that perhaps, they're all under the impression I'll forget, given enough time. That you existed. Or perhaps they'd all like to forget, now that they've all done their very best to wish you well on your "vacation".
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You have zero standards, partner. He's a grand testament, to that.
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[May 9]
We had much to discuss.
Good night, Partner.
[May 10]
The idiot chef has finally done as requested, and mother spent a good half an hour in the kitchen. I was, of course, still not alone. Ten minutes reprieve was as much as I was allowed before Wade also decided to drop in.
He apologized for not being aware of my current condition.
Imagine that.
no subject
Sucks.
That's one way to put it.
Wade is rather unusual, in many ways. I would have enjoyed discussing your own impression of him; mine is currently to be decided. But he's good enough at keeping his word, so I suppose that's another person I can cross of my list when it comes to those you'd be partial to having taken care of.
no subject
Good night, Partner.
[May 11]
I'll take the false victories where I can. Congratulations, I didn't succumb to a flower! Achievement unlocked!
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So I guess that means you're not invited. To quote a certain man in red- sucks.
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Have you ever heard of the Salt and Pepper Diner, or is that a little beyond your time?
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[May 12]
Attachment: 0031_512.jpeg
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Attachment: [[Zuko-Fireworks]].amv
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I know you're not actually coming back.
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Sans, making this all out to be a vacation. I suppose he was right to- today has been filled with such revelry. Games, music, fine foods and laughter. I believe there's a dance tonight, or perhaps tomorrow.
No one is unhappy that you're gone. They've all forgotten, given just a little time and something else to occupy them.
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I should have just followed you.
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I don't blame you. I'd like to assume that wherever you are, at the very least, it's quiet.
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[about an hour after the slew of texts f-ff]
Attachment: [[meteor_shower]].amv
[May 13]
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-----
She made me want to be with her again. There was a warm light, like her afterimage, softly glowing in my heart. That must be what they mean by “charm”. Like Helen Keller when she understood “water” for the first time, the word burst into reality for me, its living example before my eyes. It’s no exaggeration; the encounter was that overwhelming.
no subject
Inching one’s way along a steep cliff in the dark; on reaching the highway, one breathes a sigh of relief. Just when one can’t take anymore, one sees the moonlight. Beauty that seems to infuse itself into the heart; I know about that.
no subject
^^^ I did text you part of this before.
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[May 14]
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[June 7- Not Sent]